Weekly Update (Priceless) Ask Jamie and Jana ($0.02) Ben: Dictator or Cassanova? ($12) The Wailing Wall ($0.25) Picasso's Ear (500 Words) Does Your Opinion Matter? ($0.00) The Rant Page (3 for $0.99) Discoveries in Sociology ($3.47) Things We've Done To Humiliate Our Mothers ($1,000,000.00) Oyster Regurgitation (30 yen) Disco-Teque ($5 cover, $2 drinks) Fan Mail ($0.50) Fan Male [Boys Only] ($1.00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Come on, everybody needs a little Olivia Newton John. ~ Jamie Oh look! I've discovered the secret of Chapstick! ~ Jamie You're 18 now, he can capitalize on you. ~ Jamie They killed a real dead fish. ~ Jamie I'm glad I didn't have a beard in elementary school. ~ Jamie I'm either light headed or I suddenly feel taller. ~ Jamie Have you noticed that Lapo has been serving meals lately? ~ Jamie I have a habit of...faces. ~ Jana Who wants to be a Mad TV? ~ Jamie I'm taking a vow of silence. ~ Jamie Have you noticed that everyone pees around here? ~ Jana I once got a whole bag of fortune cookies, and they were all about fortunes. ~ Mo Stop! I don't rub my scent on men! ~ Jamie Screw everybody but me! ~ Jamie Everybody knows the speed limit is 5 over the speed limit. ~ Jamie I'm my own sunshine but I need someone to moonlight as my moonlight. ~ Jamie I think they should have a device that heats a room to a certain temerture and then turns off. ~ Beth I could control the Universe if I could only harvest my powers.  ~ Jamie That's because we live in the city of New Mexico, the state of Unecessarality. ~ Jamie I like rain, especially when it's not falling.  ~ Jana I always pictured drag racing as men in skirts running around a track.  ~ Jana You don't have any neighbors do you? Lucky them. Oh wait, they don't exist. ~ Jana Good burp. Silent but hearty. ~Catherine If I knew, I'd know.  ~ Jamie You don't have a hot dog in your closet. ~Jana I don't understand why people don't buy me exotic foreign automobiles for christmas. ~ Jamie I like Italian men because there aren't any around here. ~ Jamie "Remember that time I farted and fell over?"-Catherine "My stomach can't get any bigger!"-Beth. "Well, actually, have you heard of Carnie Wilson?"-Catherine. "I dress how La Po tastes." - Beth (wearing PJ's and obviously hasn't showered all day) "Scream if you're alive" - Apache People man "That's the second of the roommates to fondle something tonight" ~ Jana "I lost a period!" - Jamie "I saw the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles in concert!" - Jamie "You can gum a tortilla for dinner." - Mabel Jaramillo "I try to have peaceful time in bathroom." -Catherine "I stepped in paint"-Beth "You also stepped in sh*t while walking to your broken in car that won't start" -Catherine "What's wrong with coloring my skull? Dammit." -Beth "I am a ninja skunk! WHUAHH WUAHHH…. Tssssssss!" - Jana . . . . . . . . . . . .