Weekly Update (Priceless) Ask Jamie and Jana ($0.02) Ben: Dictator or Cassanova? ($12) The Wailing Wall ($0.25) Picasso's Ear (500 Words) Does Your Opinion Matter? ($0.00) The Rant Page (3 for $0.99) Discoveries in Sociology ($3.47) Things We've Done To Humiliate Our Mothers ($1,000,000.00) Oyster Regurgitation (30 yen) Disco-Teque ($5 cover, $2 drinks) Fan Mail ($0.50) Fan Male [Boys Only] ($1.00) . . . . . . . . . . .

(cinematic theory and musical consequence) The best movie of all time, ever, in the history of movies, cinema, and motion pictures, has to be "Almost Famous." Almost Famous almost won an Oscar which almost made it almost famouser. If you love rock 'n roll, hot boys, hot boys with guitars, and the occasional screaming from a rooftop acid scene, then you will love this movie. Amanda Marshall. A Canadian you've never heard. Normally we don't recommend seeking out Canadians for musical talent, eh, but she proves that Canadians are good at more than just hockey. We like "Sunday Morning After," a cheerful little ditty about the after effects of alcohol, drunken tattooing, and cavorting with men whose names you don't remember the next day. This is all on a hypothetical level, of course, and Jamie and Jana do not condone this type of behavior. That's why we have to listen to Canadians sing about it; we live vicariously through Canada. Dudes, you have GOT to check this song out. It's amazing. We can't get enough of it. It's called the Star Spangled Banner. By a little known artist named Francis Scott Key (aka Frankie K), this song is so patriotic it could be our national anthem. It also appeals to those of Hispanic descent as it ensures us that Jose can indeed see. PARENTAL ADVISORY: This song does contain phrases such as "rocket's red glare" and "bombs bursting in air." You may want to listen to it first before you allow your children to hear it. My Big Fat Greek Wedding - Greek food is not the only reason we want to be Greek. Although the lamb and potatoes are rather appealing, we're more fascinated by the culture, Joey Fatone, and hairy men slithering around in olive oil. Mmmm....olive oil...with feta cheese stuck in their beards...sacrificing goats on mountain tops. With Joey Fatone. (And no, we're not referring to 'Nsync when we say goats, although we should be). No, but seriously, Jamie wants to have herself a Big Fat Greek Wedding minus the spitting. Jana will settle for a Big Fat Tim McGraw wedding. Rrrrr. Home Shopping Network - Nothing, and we mean nothing, is more soothing than a stage full of C-level models wearing bulky, oversized sweaters with funky seams and shoulder pads. Where else can you buy "Nirvana Eau de Parfum" for $35.88 along with your "Mrs. Kringle's Pretzel Covered Apples"? Watch this after a long day in class or at the mill to wind down and BUY STUFF. . . . . . . . .