Weekly Update (Priceless) Ask Jamie and Jana ($0.02) Ben: Dictator or Cassanova? ($12) The Wailing Wall ($0.25) Picasso's Ear (500 Words) Does Your Opinion Matter? ($0.00) The Rant Page (3 for $0.99) Discoveries in Sociology ($3.47) Things We've Done To Humiliate Our Mothers ($1,000,000.00) Oyster Regurgitation (30 yen) Disco-Teque ($5 cover, $2 drinks) Fan Mail ($0.50) Fan Male [Boys Only] ($1.00)

Once upon a Monday night several friends from the UNM Dorms got together and decided to drive to the top of the sub-zero mountaintop. At 3 a.m., mind you. Why? We had to take a shower. A meteor shower, that is. Ben drove us up there in his sexy Swiss-mobile. It was cold. Jamie lost three of her toes (in spirit, at least). Jana was cranky because she was expecting something on par with the 4th of July or a nuclear holocaust in the sky, and all she got were 8 streaks lasting approximately 3.2 seconds each. Jamie says, "In my day when we used to climb up on my parents' roof barefoot in the snow, we were lucky if we saw one meteor, and we liked it." Jana says, "Well in my day little kids went to bed early and slept all night like good children because they had to be awake the next morning. For class." Jamie says, "Well in my day, we thought that a little sleepiness was worth a once in a lifetime experience of seeing the stars fall. And it was, dammit. I learned more from those stars than I did anything else in the world. Except for maybe Bob Saget. That guy is pretty smart." Jana says, "Bob Saget? Speaking of fallen stars." Whatever, Jamie and Jana got sick on the way back because Ben drives his sexy Swedish car like a maniac. So we made him pull over. Jamie got back at Ben though, when we were driving down Lomas and she saw the Buffet's Candy Store. She yelled out, "GIANT CANDY CANE!!" Ben got freaked out and swerved very close to the median, trying to get us carsick again. But it didn't work. Jana says, "Speak for yourself, Jamie." So there we were, at 4:30 a.m., crawling into our (respective) beds, fighting the hypothermia, and pretty damn glad that Armageddon wasn't a true story.