Weekly Update (Priceless) Ask Jamie and Jana ($0.02) Ben: Dictator or Cassanova? ($12) The Wailing Wall ($0.25) Picasso's Ear (500 Words) Does Your Opinion Matter? ($0.00) The Rant Page (3 for $0.99) Discoveries in Sociology ($3.47) Things We've Done To Humiliate Our Mothers ($1,000,000.00) Oyster Regurgitation (30 yen) Disco-Teque ($5 cover, $2 drinks) Fan Mail ($0.50) Fan Male [Boys Only] ($1.00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

About a month ago, a crazy phenomenon swept the dorms. Thanks to a well travelled Georgia Southern Attendee named Ashley, Murder on the Dancefloor invaded New Mexico. This is the biggest thing since the Macarena. It's even bigger, because the music is good. (Well, better than the Macarena anyway). Let us explain the phenomenon of the singer herself, Sophie Ellis Bextor. As Ben would put it, she is the anti-christ. Her porcelain white features and motionless face betray the sheer evil that lurks within her cold deep-fried British heart. We decided that everyone needs to know The Altogether, as portrayed by SEB in her video of "Murder." Being as this is going to be America's next dance phenomenon, you don't want to be left out at weddings, bar mitzvahs, and middle school dances when everyone starts doing the Murder on the Dancefloor Altogether. Think of it as a gift. From us to you. (NOTE!! Click on the small pictures for bigger pictures! If you dare. SECOND NOTE!! You can download this song and video on any of the illegal music pirating programs. Arrrr!) 1. Kick outwards, with enthusiasm just like Jamie. Repeat. This move is also known as the "Steve Holy." 2. Point right, then left in a groovy manner. Repeat. (Cafrin knows all about being groovy). 3. Spin right. Note: the classy flying of hair is essential to this move. The more hair flippage, the better. 4. Clap up and to the right, and smile like Beta. 5. Spin back to the left, keeping hair flippage constant. 6. Clap down to the left, looking earnestly desperate, like J-Po.   NOTE: Do NOT clap down and to the right. This may cause you to run into other dancers on the floor, which may lead to serious injury and/or death. Even if it is called "Murder on the Dancefloor." 7. Step to the right, putting your feet back together. Repeat. The key to this move is pep as demonstrated by our Pep-Boy, Benito.   8. Whoa, ladies! Turn to the right again! 9. Thrust hands upwards and down in a Broadway-style-chorus-line conclusion. Smile broadly. The end of your dance is going to be something that people remember. Make it special. We suggest that if you can't smile, put vaseline on your teeth. It does the trick every time.